Everett True

The Museum of Impossible Music

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Impossible Music

This thread was inspired by a chance comment on Twitter (a ‘Tweet’ – !) from Monster Bobby:

“Last night I dreamt I was reading a blogpost by @everetttrue with the title ‘The Museum of Impossible Music'”.

So I thought, why not, and gave the floor to my Facebook chums to make a few suggestions. Here is some of what they came up with …

Exhibit A
A song that everyone likes. A song that is genuinely ‘bad’. A Coldplay song that wasn’t written without the mass populace in mind.

Exhibit B
The Residents, Negativland, John Cale, Autechre, John Zorn, Pole, Aphex … and then another room for Guetta, Swedish House Mafia.

Exhibit C 
Miles Davis playing a bad note. A Legend! single that sold over 100 copies.

Exhibit D
The charts without Autotune.

Exhibit E
Sherpa rave whistles, Atlantis post-rock Mammoth plectrums, time-travel folk dungaree sweat, Sisyphean dubstep unicorn vibraphone.

Exhibit F
A choir of mutes singing in the Circular Song Annex, with Nero on fiddle. The song of the dodo.

Exhibit G

(The bass-player walked out halfway through the session, claiming that the tune was ‘impossible’ to play.)

Exhibit H
The sound of dinosaurs, the 1,000,000 pure frequencies generated by the surface of the sun, the silence of a black hole, the infinite scream of the big bang, angels’ tears. U2 writing a good song.

Exhibit I
Loleatta Holloway fronting Silver Apples. Produced by King Tubby.

Exhibit J
A record with a handmade groove. A record embedded in cement.

Exhibit K
The sound of ears being torn off in rage.

Exhibit L
David Gilmour and Roger Waters singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’, arm in arm, down the pub on New Year’s. Lou Reed and John Cale duetting on Joni Mitchell’s ‘Good Friends’.

Exhibit M
A singer who can sing five notes at the same time, no overdubs.

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