Logan K. Young

Pretzel Logic – 4: Absolute (Scritti Politti)

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by Logan K. Young

Any major dude will tell you: we need a better, more objective way to write about records.

Thus, dear Rikki, I’ve taken to the laws of propositional calculus. Get your think on.


Scritti Politti, Absolute (Virgin)

If Green Gartside is and forever shall be Scritti Politti, or that he’s the smartest person in Britpop – next to Eno, of course – then we really, truly need a Scritti Politti best-of disc before Gartside over-thinks it all and offs himself.

Let g = Green is Scritti Politti

Have e = Gartside is as smart as Eno

Allow c = Greatest Hits comp is necessary

Premise 1: (g ∨ e) → c

If we legitimately need a Scritti Politti hits compilation, then ‘The Sweetest Girl’ and ‘Perfect Way’ would indeed be good tunes to put on it – especially for a Whig audience. Regardless, it’s always great to hear Miles’ horn on ‘Oh Patti (Don’t Feel Sorry for Loverboy)’

So s = ‘The Sweetest Girl’, ‘Perfect Way’ and ‘Oh Patti’ are the best songs for the comp

Premise 2: c → s

Nevertheless, it’s patently obvious to anyone that’s paid attention since ‘Skank Bloc Bologna’ that ‘Jacques Derrida’ remains the best Scritti Politti song, ever. Amirite? And wouldn’t you know it, the original isn’t even on here – just the digital remaster from back in 2001, the year you lost contact.


Premise 3: ¬s

To wit, the man from Cardiff with the brain from Frankfurt must not be smarter than Brian Eno after all.


[[(g ∨ e) → c] ∧ (c → s) ∧ ¬s] → ¬e

(7-and-a-quarter Aristotles … out of 10)

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