Everett True

holy crap. it’s the new Lady Gaga video.

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My attention was drawn to this by a CB contributor who wondered if I too had spotted the similarities between ‘Born This Way’ and Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself’.

Let’s have a look, shall we?

Go on. I defy you to actually get as far as watching the Madonna video. (That’s the link just there. I would have embedded it, but those despotic wastrels in charge of Warners have decided Australians shouldn’t be allowed to see it. Cunt bubbles.) James fucking Cameron has nothing on this lady: grandiloquent screen gestures that say nothing, shock and awe, sentimentality dressed up as state-of-the-state technology, birthing scenes that would make all but the most hardened midwife sign an immediate clause banning all future propagation of the species… I was going to add ‘pseudo-religious imagery’ but, uh, isn’t all religion pseudo? There’s nothing like a three-minute spoken word intro to set the blood racing. There’s nothing like a space-birth scene to really get those dance muscles pumping.

No, you don’t understand. I approve. I APPROVE. If you’re going to make a music video, make a fucking music video: not just more demure cheerleaders waving demure pom-poms around demure indie boys playing watered-down Franz Ferdinand. (I blame Nirvana, myself.) See, for example, THIS! (Uh, that’s not the full video, just the full 11-minute song. There is a full video. But it’s not been posted on YouTube. C’est la vie.)

I kinda prefer the lyrical content of the Madonna song to the asinine chorus on the Lady Gaga song – that whole self-consciously hip-to-the-masses-idea-of-conventionally-shocking, “Don’t be a drag, just be a queen” statue: there again, aren’t all the best choruses semi-moronic? Ask Bob Dylan. Aside from that, I have no preference. I enjoy both songs, but wish Gaga would cut back a little on the Cameron quotient in her videos despite everything I just said above. I dunno. I kind of thought that one with Beyoncé was fucking cool.

She was just born this way.

Well, that’s nice. That’s real, real nice. Even if, of course, part of her entire attraction is that she wasn’t.

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