The Goon Sax, live in Brighton (UK)

BRIGHTON KOMEDIA: I have never felt very comfortable with my body. This feels like home. It shouldn’t. The venue is dismal; crap sound and a few punters shuffling around. My shoulder hurts, or is the ache in the pit of my elbow? I stand by the front of the stage, to the left – remembering some […]
The greatest band in the world in November, 2015

Cold, covered in sweat. I am on stage performing as The Legend! (not Everett True) and people are laughing. I am a funny man, that’s what (some) people say. People laughed at Nina Simone too. (Read that sentence again, and wince.) Nervousness, coupled with just not knowing how to react. I know I intimidate, that […]
The importance of being Helen

I have two mice. One for good thoughts, one for evil. Forgive while I wallow for a little in one of those years I have no memory of: 1983, say. Somewhere, I lost track. Somewhere I lost sight of the… I’m thinking of what your fingers would look like holding this mouse, the stretch and […]
Life is fucking is dancing is Shopping is rhythm

Everything is wrong. You want to know how wrong? I have seen plenty of Greatest Guitarists of All Time lists, vacantly staring as I have, and not one of them has listed Rachel Aggs in its Top 10. Now, we can agree, I know very little about music, certainly not as much as those venerated […]
I watched 40 seconds of the greatest band (a tragedy in 40 seconds)

I watched 40 seconds of the greatest band. I pretended I had watched 40 minutes when I spoke to them later because hell it’s embarrassing to have watched 40 seconds of the greatest band just as the “thank you’s” kick in and then enthuse to the band how wonderful you think they are and can […]
I really wanted to see The June Brides play last night

I really wanted to see The June Brides play last night. I had heard some new songs from them, thin and reedy and wistful and wastrel. Tender and melancholy and so fragile, almost not existing. Last night I dreamed I was living in a futuristic nightmare-scape where everyone’s virtual avatars were real and friendly, conjured […]
An Important Public Service Announcement.

Ahem. Today we at Collapse Board present the following public service announcement from Everett True: I have a few weeks spare, now that I have submitted the corrections for my PhD, and I would like to start up a new music & politics & general troublemaking website, with view to creating a print version. Based […]
I have a crush on the violinist with Slum Of Legs, pt 3 | Slum Of Legs

I’m gone. Solid. Stuck here, thinking. Stuck here, thinking that Tamsin can articulate loneliness and hope and the thrill of the dance floor much better than I ever could. Stuck here, entertained thoroughly by all the shenanigans going on on stage. Stuck like glue. Stuck here. Of course it is sadder not to dance at […]
I have a crush on the violinist with Slum Of Legs, pt 2 | The Glug

I swear, it started like this. Only not so much so. I swear it. I was not dreaming. I was idly watching the lady on the merch table smiling, engaging – and this gang of MEN wander on stage, dressed in orange, with an Orange amp. Six or seven of them there were, and a clown […]
I have a crush on the violinist with Slum Of Legs, pt 1 | The Wharves

Sometimes it’s nice not to have to use your imagination. This is my music. Not just, of course. There is a moment when I’m listening to the Wharves’ beautiful spellbound catlike three-part harmonies, entranced by the mirror ball rotating in the corner, noting the orange trainer laces, when I’m there. Here. Lost in music, caught […]