The Museum of Impossible Music
This thread was inspired by a chance comment on Twitter (a ‘Tweet’ – !) from Monster Bobby:
“Last night I dreamt I was reading a blogpost by @everetttrue with the title ‘The Museum of Impossible Music'”.
So I thought, why not, and gave the floor to my Facebook chums to make a few suggestions. Here is some of what they came up with …
Exhibit A
A song that everyone likes. A song that is genuinely ‘bad’. A Coldplay song that wasn’t written without the mass populace in mind.
Exhibit B
The Residents, Negativland, John Cale, Autechre, John Zorn, Pole, Aphex … and then another room for Guetta, Swedish House Mafia.
Exhibit C
Miles Davis playing a bad note. A Legend! single that sold over 100 copies.
Exhibit D
The charts without Autotune.
Exhibit E
Sherpa rave whistles, Atlantis post-rock Mammoth plectrums, time-travel folk dungaree sweat, Sisyphean dubstep unicorn vibraphone.
Exhibit F
A choir of mutes singing in the Circular Song Annex, with Nero on fiddle. The song of the dodo.
Exhibit G
(The bass-player walked out halfway through the session, claiming that the tune was ‘impossible’ to play.)
Exhibit H
The sound of dinosaurs, the 1,000,000 pure frequencies generated by the surface of the sun, the silence of a black hole, the infinite scream of the big bang, angels’ tears. U2 writing a good song.
Exhibit I
Loleatta Holloway fronting Silver Apples. Produced by King Tubby.
Exhibit J
A record with a handmade groove. A record embedded in cement.
Exhibit K
The sound of ears being torn off in rage.
Exhibit L
David Gilmour and Roger Waters singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’, arm in arm, down the pub on New Year’s. Lou Reed and John Cale duetting on Joni Mitchell’s ‘Good Friends’.
Exhibit M
A singer who can sing five notes at the same time, no overdubs.
