The greatest band in the world in November, 2015
Cold, covered in sweat. I am on stage performing as The Legend! (not Everett True) and people are laughing. I am a funny man, that’s what (some) people say. People laughed at Nina Simone too. (Read that sentence again, and wince.) Nervousness, coupled with just not knowing how to react. I know I intimidate, that […]
The importance of being Helen
I have two mice. One for good thoughts, one for evil. Forgive while I wallow for a little in one of those years I have no memory of: 1983, say. Somewhere, I lost track. Somewhere I lost sight of the… I’m thinking of what your fingers would look like holding this mouse, the stretch and […]
R.I.P. Carey Lander
I am very saddened to hear of the passing of Carey Lander, the keyboard-player with one of my favourite bands Camera Obscura. She had been battling osteosarcoma, an aggressive form of bone cancer, since 2011. She was 33. The band left this message on their Facebook page. It is with the greatest sadness, that we must share […]
Life is fucking is dancing is Shopping is rhythm
Everything is wrong. You want to know how wrong? I have seen plenty of Greatest Guitarists of All Time lists, vacantly staring as I have, and not one of them has listed Rachel Aggs in its Top 10. Now, we can agree, I know very little about music, certainly not as much as those venerated […]
I watched 40 seconds of the greatest band (a tragedy in 40 seconds)
I watched 40 seconds of the greatest band. I pretended I had watched 40 minutes when I spoke to them later because hell it’s embarrassing to have watched 40 seconds of the greatest band just as the “thank you’s” kick in and then enthuse to the band how wonderful you think they are and can […]
How Not To Write A Book Proposal (Rejected Unknown)
Sometimes, when your proposals for articles or books are rejected you feel down for weeks afterwards – like, fuck it, I really was the best person for that job, why the FUCK is everyone still so resentful of me and bugger it, I ain’t going to be buying anything this week either. Other times, however, […]
I really wanted to see The June Brides play last night
I really wanted to see The June Brides play last night. I had heard some new songs from them, thin and reedy and wistful and wastrel. Tender and melancholy and so fragile, almost not existing. Last night I dreamed I was living in a futuristic nightmare-scape where everyone’s virtual avatars were real and friendly, conjured […]
Jerry and the Giant Peach of new music
I do not know how you have managed to survive without me. Put a brave face on it? Good on you. That is the spirit. No time for words. Just flagrant misrepresentation. I remain surprised that men consider themselves qualified enough to make music, the way the penis gets in the way of the fretboard. I was […]
I have a crush on the violinist with Slum Of Legs, pt 3 | Slum Of Legs
I’m gone. Solid. Stuck here, thinking. Stuck here, thinking that Tamsin can articulate loneliness and hope and the thrill of the dance floor much better than I ever could. Stuck here, entertained thoroughly by all the shenanigans going on on stage. Stuck like glue. Stuck here. Of course it is sadder not to dance at […]
I have a crush on the violinist with Slum Of Legs, pt 2 | The Glug
I swear, it started like this. Only not so much so. I swear it. I was not dreaming. I was idly watching the lady on the merch table smiling, engaging – and this gang of MEN wander on stage, dressed in orange, with an Orange amp. Six or seven of them there were, and a clown […]
